the circle of desperation

presented by j:

in June, it will mark two full years that i have lived in our current apartment.  for the most part, our experience at Oak Meadows has been pleasant and enjoyable.

i was excited when i first moved in because of the big, open, grassy field that opens up behind our patio.  i quickly discovered that this is the “poop field”…that’s right, the place all of the dog owners take their canine friends to poop.  it certainly explained why the grass is always to lush year-round, but does not always make great breakfast-time viewing.  now that we have Sirius, we are able to actually take advantage of the proximity of the poop field.

living in apartment 505 has had its woes too.  our first upstairs neighbors were very loud.  especially at night.  and, not to be too graphic, but i’m pretty sure it was briefly used as a porn studio.  i only wish i was joking about that.

but no aspect of our apartment experience has brought more woe and greater victory than the “circle of desperation.” (not to be confused with “the circle of life” or *shudder* “circle of friends.”)

what is “the circle of desperation,” you ask? (i can only assume you ask this since i can’t actually hear you.  if i could hear you from here, that would be a pretty creepy/awesome super power.)

this is the circle of desperation from a “bird‘s eye view.”

perhaps you need a bit more detail, though.  i don’t blame you.  allow me to show you where we live:

now that you know approximately where we live, you can understand why it is beneficial to find a parking spot along the boundaries of this small, northern lot.  any time we come home, whether it be from work, a leisurely stroll, taking in a film, etc., this is the general route we take:

depending on what spots are available, we have to circle around the lot, hence the reason it is called “the circle of desperation.”  the drawing above makes it look a bit more like a p-shape, but we do not call it “the P of desperation” so as not to confuse it with “the pee of desperation,” which is an entirely different and unfortunate thing.

because so many of our neighbors are “old” like us, however, any time we are out past…oh…8:00 pm (CST), it can be very, very difficult to actually find a spot close to the apartment.  but even when coming in late, one must always be optimistic and do “the circle of desperation” in the hope of nabbing an open spot, as demonstrated below.

more often than not, though, all of the spots are taken up because it is the late hour of 8:23 (9:23 EST) pm and we are forced into the humiliating situation of doing “the circle of desperation” in vain, like this:

there is not quite any other feeling in the world as great as the joy of finding a parking spot in “the circle of desperation.”  one feels as though they have vanquished a great foe when it happens.  nor is there any feeling as low as not finding a spot and being forced back into the darkness of the only open spot, flanked by two rather crooked-parked vehicles.

though i may complain about the parking situation, i know the day will come when we look back on our time in the apartment – even “the circle of desperation” itself – with some kind of bittersweet nostalgia.  but for the most part, i’ll just be glad to stay out past 8:00 (20:00) and park right by our home.  amen.

2 thoughts on “the circle of desperation

  1. That “time we'll look back” will probably come the first time you find out your escrow was short due to an increase in your property taxes and your house payment is going up.

  2. too true. which is why i think the “UP” balloon house idea is so fantastic…sure, no running water or electricity, but no property taxes either.

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