Yes, friends, we are moving. If you follow us on instagram or facebook, you’ve clearly seen we are getting rid and selling a bunch of stuff. I’ve been getting message after message after message, “Are you guys moving?? Where are you going??”
After Jonathan got back from L.A., somehow a rumor got started we were moving there.
We are not. The good news is, Jonathan can write from anywhere.
My response has been: “Oh, literally just down the street.”
“Oh cool! Did you guys get a new house?”
And here is where the rubber meets the road for us, and we just decided a blog post explaining it all needs to be done. We’re not moving to a new house. We’re actually downsizing, and moving to an apartment for a season.
A couple of months ago, heck, a couple of weeks ago, I would have been full of shame to tell you that. In fact, I was. I was coming up with every creative way I could to either 1) not have to tell people we were moving into an apartment or 2) not tell people the real reason why. I mean, at the end of the day, we don’t have to be public and explain things to anyone. However, over the past few weeks, through our own conversations at home, through tears and frustrated prayers and feeling defeated, came a new song. A song we want to sing and share because we truly believe He is writing a bigger story, one that we of course can’t fully see but know He is moving still, and He’s not close to being done.
So here’s the real reason we are moving to an apartment. For the past 4 years, we have taken on debt, and quite honestly, it’s been a crippling season. We didn’t plan for us to sell the business we had just paid off before we started the adoption process. We thought we would always have two incomes, so we didn’t ever plan for a Plan B. When Kai came home, it was clear I needed to fully be home and we went down to one income very soon after, and we simply were not prepared for that.
There have been unwise decisions, unavoidable things, things we wish we could go back and do differently, and things where we didn’t have any other option. We are tired, we are ready to have more time together as a family, to grow our family again via adoption, to do things we love and are gifted in, to give. We can’t do any of that when we are sitting in debt. So we had to make the hard decision and say the best thing we can do is get serious and get this done. For us that means lowering our rent and bills as much as we can over the next 6 months, and assess where we are at the end of the year.
Is this ideal? Absolutely not. I would love to answer that we found this beautiful old farmhouse that we’re renovating Chip and Jo style, and we’ll be getting chickens and goats if you want to come over for a cup of coffee, some fresh eggs, and goat yoga. Maybe the next time I’ll be writing about a move, that will be true. But today, I’m sharing this with you because for far too long, we sat in complete shame of where we are financially.
We struggled alone. We struggled alone within our marriage, each feeling like it was our own fault and we had failed each other without actually saying that. We struggled alone not letting anyone else know how bad it really was.
The past 2 weeks, as the Lord has worked on my heart and I started answering honestly with “we’re moving to an apartment so we can get out of debt.” The conversations that sprung from that truth have been life-giving. They have opened up doors to let us see that we are not the only ones in this boat. There are others paddling beside us, fighting the same things, and others who had to make hard decisions too, but made it to the shore and hitting all those waves was worth it.
No one likes to talk about this. Believe me, we don’t really want to be airing this to the world, but we are because we believe He is greater, and He is going to use this to help others. We believe He is using this and is going to use this for good, and we want to share it with you so you can see what He is doing. We are sharing it because we believe light exposes darkness, and when you are sitting in shame, whether it’s about money, your marriage, an addiction, covetousness, whatever it may be, shame is darkness and that’s exactly where the Enemy loves to lurk and hang things over your head. Let that go and bring it into the light so you can make room for Him to work.
So, yes, we’re moving, that’s where we are moving to, and that’s why. We don’t have this all figured out. We don’t fully know what He is doing, but we do know He is faithful and we don’t believe that living in debt is what He has for us, so we have to put feet to those prayers and trust that He will do the rest.